This question has troubled me my whole life long. You know the children, at primary school, saying “I want to be a fireman, or a ballerina, or a cook, or a teacher, or a painter, a dancer, banker” whatever. Well, I was never one of those. I just wanted to grow up and be happy.
Childhood was not a particularly safe or happy place. Peace of mind and ambition or success didn’t really feature there. Just aiming to be happy seemed like a good plan. And it seemed that as I mosied my way along through life, there didn’t seem to be any particular thing that I excelled at. I did ballet, gymnastics, played violin, viola, piano, running sports, athletics etc. I was “good” at all of them, but not “excellent” at any of them. None of them was a passion for me.
My working life involved much in the way of executive secretarial work, all of which I was highly efficient at, but hey, it was just a job. When my 3 beautiful children came along, they WERE my passion, and still are, even though they are grown and need me only a little and only sometimes. The sun shines out of them, and my mother’s pride of them knows no bounds.
So, now at 48 years old, I’m still trying to be passionately good at something. I have not found a talent that I am so good at that I can call it a passion. I love to garden, passionately, it’s more of a hobby though and not an “occupation”. Flowers nurture my soul, tending my plants, loving and growing them. Colours, rich and exciting, soft, delicate and pretty.
I love to talk, that’s probably a passion, and I do talk alot in my current job, but still, not really a talent. I love to make people laugh and feel good, still not a definable passion/talent. So… where does this leave me?
Waiting for that gorgeous man, custom built just for me, that doesn’t need any tweaking to fit in with who I am. Who can love, adore and desire me madly, just how I am and I in return. My big question is “what if my life’s passion is not a some thing, but a some one”? Because I think that it might be. People without passion bore me. I’m sorry that sounds really superior, but it’s true. Boring people terrify me, because I’m terrified of becoming one. I have to be loud, over the top, in your face, cuddling you close, making you laugh, teasing you mercilessly, gazing intently at you. Watching you talk, asking you questions, millions of questions. I’m curiouser than any cat, inquisitive.
PASSION – even the word is beautiful. Sexy even. Righto Mr Life’s Passion – that’s your cue to walk on in the door!!
I'm the Mama - get outta my way! 